Little Girl Blue

Thousand and one things to be done. But don't feel like doing even a single thing.... as if some nerves were wrecked and missing - grouchy, grumpy & blue... ... in need to swing to some Eden new...
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Sometimes, I just wonder if I am Perversely Unyielding or Persistent Resilience...

"Stubborn and ardent clinging to one's opinion is the best proof of stupidity”

Michel de Montaigne

(French Philosopher and Writer. 1533-1592)

"Time has a way of demonstrating that the most stubborn are the most intelligent”

Yevgeny Yevtushenko

(Russian Poet, b.1933)

Completing what love is...

With V'day looming near on the 14-Feb, I thought I'll turn advertising script-writer and complete 14 "Love is..." statements. Here goes:

(1) Love is devoted patience... like hong*'s gramp who would travel distances and repeat the same sentences over and again when her grandma cannot hear. Not grunting in impatience.

(2) Love is being supportive in action (even when perplexed).... like beng* not understanding why hong* feels down about not having lunch kakis, and yet drives down from east to west just to be a company and support. Not protesting she is nutsy.

(3) Love is gentle respect... like rich gal Ching* who talks to her less accomplished husband in meekness. Not turning haughty at the least of any achievement.

(4) Love is putting another above my own desires... like I am careful not to be an inconvenience to another. Not harping on extra miles taken. (yes, I am learning & trying to love with concrete action)

(5) Love is forbearance & chivalry... like ALow* walking with his wife to the train station early every morning so that he gets to spend time with her even though that means he will reach work an hour early. Not emphasizing that special efforts was made.

(6) Love is thorough honesty... like TAw* telling his wife every little detail. Not hiding nor seeing the need to.

(7) Love is empathy and anxiousness to protect.... like Auntie Lian*'s husband refusal to let her take care of his grandchildren so that she will not be tired out. Not muttering against another's disability to stretch.

(8) Love is regardless of education & status.... like Dr. Tan* submitting without contempt to the directional instructions of his wife, a high school grad. Not looking at her with disdain.

(9) Love is re-assurance... like XL*'s dad giving his mom a tender touch when she gets emotional. Not suppressing emotions.

(10) Love is sharing lives... like HShan*'s husband who would not cease to tell her of the days' happenings so that she will not miss out. Not having had to be prompted relentlessly.

(11) Love is seeing another happy... like Irene*'s husband surprising her on her birthday even after being wedded for years. Not making a dread out of occassions.

(12) Love is hope... like people who dashes towards shared dreams. Not dashing them for any fear.

(13) Love is missing each other's presence... like the multiple phone calls that hong* gets. Not going on life without missing each other's absence.

(14) Love is being fiercely loyal... like PHo* when he refused to engage in ragging activities that puts him in compromising positions with the girls in the name of fun, even when his girlfriend is nowhere in sight. Not giving a chance or compromising. (yes, i am a prude)



EKH* posed queries to my expections of relationships and love when we talked yesterday... It's not that I have never gone through cogitation. I have thought through it hard too. Whenever the rational water in my brain wins over the emotional fire of the spirits and repossesses the mind, i'll start wondering if i have been building expectations on fancy, floating clouds of fluffy cotton candies...

But those I've listed are nothing out of disney channel. Not inspirations drawn from TCS, TVB, TBS, KBS, Bollywood nor Hollywood scripts. Nothing show biz. All real lives, in real inspiring love. i am not amplifying the actions per se, but considering the love behind the actions that get amplified... and I link it all to 1 Corinthians 13:3 that says "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

Really, actions are superficial. I am not about to be dishonest and garb myself with deceptive nobel masks by saying that I do not care for nice gestures. In fact, I do. I do so much so that I identify them with the love that goes with it. It's like, love causes actions, but actions do not correlate to love...

Love is complete not over a gold-plated cover, but a metamorphose into what it is, exactly as written so long ago....

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

(1 Corinthians 13:4~7)

Haha.. i think i am starting to blabber again... anyway, Happy V'day, my friends. To all of you and I, may we immerse in love & bliss everyday of our lives ! I hope someone will provide my cotton candy clouds with enough aerodynamics to float.... someday....

Thomas Trahern

Love is the true means by which the world is enjoyed: our love to others, and others' love to us

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Spotted on Merriam-Webster: Obaman

Oba is (an African) king / ruler.
That makes Oba-man his supporter.
How apt!

Now think of what a supporter of yours might be called if you'd ever have any....

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Escaping to the Present is Sane

So many things so bog me down, I feel that my head cannot surface above the swamp... in fact, even the brain mass seems to be in a whirl-pool.

How to explain the mess? How to cram all those info into my peabrain in time for the exams? So ultra-perplexed & messed up, I can't seem to get down to do anything. What holds in the future? Keeping pretty people relationships seems to be my archilles heel. Will I take on more failures? ( hope no ! ) Will i end up losing myself like some who metamorphosise into incomprehensible personality disorders cranks - you know, like those who so try to act cute and all, such that they actually looked a little like a functional retard? ( oh, spare me! ) Ah well, or perhaps the likelihood of me ending up sucked stuck in my own black hole, and turn into a sorehead grouch is higher... haha. *shrug* whatever...

Well, at least for now, at this point of time, on a good weekday afternoon, there is no need to explain anything to anybody. What's past is gone. Exams is another 3 months down the road (gasp! but.. it's another 3 months), and nobody knows what will happen tomorrow.

Even though i doubt with all my heart, who knows, but i may end up blissful and happy with an adoring, handsome, rich, smart, gallant, gay ( keenly alive and exuberant ! ), thinking yet sentimental gentleman who'll swoon me with love lots everyday.... ( whoa ! *high* ) okie, okie.... that's wild fantasy.......

or... or at most, end up whining days' end and engaging in self-comforts like Sumiko Tan lor... *shrug*

Oh, okie... the future is unthinkable and probably going to be even more insane.. let me just escape into the present.... du-du-la-la-la...

I love the 20 something young boys... and the girlfriends !

I just love the young boys.... first, there is James* who would empathise that i have been sleep-deprived, and helped to download and send me the required reading materials. Then there's SLDW*, who would believe that i am not the odd one, but the odd & better one percent... so, there is always a category of others in that same percentile who would excel with me.. the boy assuring me that I have what it takes to be above average. What a boost to my injured self-esteem...

I'll really be swooned if they are older... hiak-hiak... but I love them all the same.

I also love my girlfriends for hearing all my nonsenses. Half the time, even i myself cannot make head out of tails of... yet, they will be there when i just need to vent things out before i trip myself splitting-hair, remembering, and promising to bring me out to have fun....

Really. I have to love them. Thank God for dropping these kind angels in my path, just when i was suspecting that i have been too odd, and wondering if there is anything is wrong with me..

Still feeling a bit down, but looks like i should take on SLDW's advise to inject positivity, smile even more and soldier on. Surely, if I'd believe & hold on with my head and soul high, things will be better and i'll get to receive what i'd wish for.

HAPPY 牛 YEAR, all !
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愛與支持力量大

Extracted from ＜我報＞星期三　2009年1月21日　生活版　

生命中如果有知己給予你愛和支持, 再艱難的路也能走下去.

在象棋裡, 倅打兵, 馬吃炮或犧牲車, 為的就是要讓對方死棋, 然後得意地大喊 "將軍"!

下一盤中國象棋, 可能在兩三分鐘内分勝負, 也可能拖個一兩個小時, 還在傷腦筋. 我們的生命不也是一樣嗎? 舉棋不定, 是因為要三思而後行, 擔心走錯一不全盤皆輸.

Sis Shenton 我認為, 世事如棋局局新, 有赢就有输, 有起必有落. 重點是在输赢之前的過程中, 你得到了什麼? 把焦點放在結局, 還不如享受下棋的樂趣. 象棋裡的將, 士, 相, 馬, 車, 炮, 兵, 互相扶持, 哪怕在必要時得做出"犧牲" , 為的就是要共同打出一場勝仗.

這像不像你在生命中做重要決定時, 有一個人不論結局输赢, 都願意在你身旁鼓勵你, 扶持你, 讓你能安心完成目標呢? 誰不希望在面對生命挑戰時, 有一個可以信賴和給予全力支持的知己?

生命中互相扶持

聽過授之魚亦授之魚的故事嗎?

大海边徘徊着兩個一無所有的人. 一個好心人走過來, 分別送兩人一筐魚和一張网. 拿到魚的那人, 大吃一頓後, 又回到一無所有; 拿到网的那人, 从此靠捕魚為生, 過着安定的日子.

且慢! 結果也可能不一樣...... 倘若兩人已饥饿至极, 生命垂危, 那拿到魚的就可以馬上挨過饥饿, 再去寻找新生計; 拿到网的那人, 哪還有撒网的力氣? 只有悲慘地饿死在大海边.

既然是兩個人, 有魚又有网, 最好的办法不就是合作嗎? 先魚而後漁, 互相扶持給予愛和幫助, 有當下有未來, 還擔心什麼?

小支持, 也可以成為很大的力量! 運動員能在運動場上, 在萬眾矚目的情況下卵足全力朝目標拼搏. 除了運動員平時的鍛鍊, 這裡面, 往往都注入了堅韌無比的情感--- "愛與支持".
當他們快撐不下去的時候, 想想那最溫柔的目光, 也能夠成為最堅強的後盾. 這種愛與支持, 是不是比獎牌更美, 更動人?

Old song....

I thank You Lord, for the trials that come my way
In that way I can grow each day, As I let You lead
And I thank You Lord for the patience those trials bring
In that process of growing, I can learn to care

Chorus:
But it goes against the way I am
To put my human nature down
And let the Spirit take control of all I do
For when those trials come
My human nature shouts the thing to do
And God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

But I thank You Lord, with each trial I feel inside
That You're there to help, lead and guide me away from wrong
For You promised, Lord, that with every testing
That Your way of escaping's easier to bear

Yes, I thank You Lord, for the victory that growing brings
In surrender of everything, life is so worthwhile
And I thank You Lord, that when everything's put in place
Out in front I can see Your faceAnd it's there You belong
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The Incongruous Human Nature

Human nature hates struggling.... and the irony is that human nature cannot sit in surrender and wait for things to just fall into place. And so, we continue to go on our strives, convinced that if we were to wrench a bit more, things will work out fine. When that happens, we will just be engrossed in one-tracked wrestles for our own way, unable to see or listen, much less think...

Over time, however, we realises that all that have been expended are foolishly wasted time and energy...

"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain" ~~ Psalm 127:1 ~~

What do you do when you fall down?

Hong forwarded me a video of Nick Vujicic yesterday. The message is clear: We know that when we fall, we have to move on.... but to do so, we have to first get up & stop trying to move while still down....

Are You Going To Finish Strong - Nick Vujicic Video
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-HUMtI0-cJRU/are_you_going_to_finish_strong_nick_vujicic_video

Funny how life is full of changes
Funny how friends are made from strangers
Since life will always keep us guessing
We might as well just go on BUT count our blessings
Look at the stars, And count our blessings...

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