The Self-deluded Prince Charming

An ex-colleague whom I have not heard from called up early in the morning last Saturday. It started with casual talks of the happenings. Then out of the blue, he kinda hemmed-and-hawed, and asked of my impression of him. The conversation goes, and there came a part where he asked if I was ever interested in him. I was glad that I had then managed to maintain my poise and told him no (cos’ I don’t really know him that well) good-naturedly. I even went on justifying my ideals even though he kinda branded me point-blank that I was being conservative.

The retarded neuron signals only passed the current moments after I hanged up, and I started to feel a tad insult. I mean, hello! what was that call suppose to mean? Did he really expect me to say “yes, yes, you were so attractive”? Excuse me, I think I have met more attractive guys, and even if he is that attractive, I do think I have more pride than that! Not that he has ever done anything to at least try melt my heart or something... duh... And yes. I think I deserve better…

The ultimate self-deluded prince charming manifested with mentions of him not thinking I would ever meet any man that would feed my ideals in the company unless the company starts employing some really eligible guys. He probably thought he was the most eligible man I would ever meet.

Hah! Interesting what people think of themselves… Thinking back now, and soaking in some sense of humor, I should think such people are intriguing in their own ways...
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Take time to look up

I have always marvelled at the wonders of nature when I am on holidays. The skies overseas always look so enchanting. Actually, I never realised that it is not that bad at home.

I took the picture this morning as I was on my way to work. Look! Actually, our skies are just as nice too. Sometimes, all it takes is to look up and give thanks for the things we have been given... Even though it is a Monday....

Thank God for the new day!

Single 25 Attending a Fairytale Wedding

June 2006 seems to be a good time for weddings. Or is it just time that people my age are getting hitched?

Anyway…

I had the honor of attending a wedding with the… ahem, Hi-Life’s-dream-glam factor last Sunday evening.
How so?

• Wedding held at The Ritz
• Wedding with crowd made up of more tai-tais and white-haired businessmen than I’ve seen – congregated in reality, I mean.
• Wedding attended by guests flown in from overseas
• Wedding of glamorous magnificence and mega-gala factors – where resources didn’t seem like a constrain… (how many people get to have weddings where details such as a jazz singer singing by the grand piano at the ballroom entrance were arranged? Never mind people are more interested in checking each other out then to be enjoying the music.)
• Wedding of a rich boy (and my suspicion is a REALLY rich boy) and a pretty girl blissfully in love
• Wedding where the groom’s father publicly proclaim his family’s love and acceptance towards the newly wedded daughter-in-law
• The beautiful Bride confidently telling mum & dad that they no longer had to worry cos’ she’s going to be well taken care of by a good man
  

Sure, the riches of the family provided for a fairytale wedding function that evening, but I guess it is the planning effort too that came along with the resources that will be etched deeply in the memories of the couple. If you think weddings and no occasions are all that special or important, well, advocates of everyday-living-is-what-matters-most better have darn good memories to remember every of the 21,900 or more important every-days you live thus after the wedding at the end of life. Sure, everyday living is important, but so are the extra efforts that spice special days.

What stuck me most though was not so much the glam & glitz. Rather, it was the bliss the bride was in. How more loved will one feel than to be wedded into a family who declare they will love you? To be married to a husband who “can’t help falling in love with you”, and will promise to stand by you in everything? Such public displays of affection make one hopeful once again that characters like portrayals of Nic Fang’s persona in his columns (plus lotsa wealth) do exists.

If I too, can meet such a man who can feed my romantic ideals and fantasies…. But well, I guess that kind of feelings and connection is cultivated through time. With each passing day, I do concur with what Hong says about the probability percent going exponentially downhill.

But well, like mum said, if the uncle riding an old trishaw featured on the 晚報 can manage to strike it rich on his toto, so who can say what is impossibility? That, coming from a recalcitrant pessimist, I guess, I cannot rebuff, but to resign to hoping for the possible happening of THE DAY…. Well, as K might say, it’s not easy waiting for the appearance of the “golden tortoise* ” for they are probably a tad slow….

##"Golden Tortoise * " defined: The chap high on both the extrinsic & intrinsic worth.

That said, I might just add that simply having a fat wallet do not qualify one to be in the league of The Golden Tortoise... Well, at least in the definition of yours truly....
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Do wires give good EM waves?

See that mess of wires on my work desk? That came together with the LCD monitor that was newly added, supposedly to ease the overly-squinted eyes. Yes. I should be thankful for the welfare, but somehow, I've got problem getting past having my desk in shambles because of wires. Makes me feel cluttered... one time, i thought I should be able to plot some smith graphs and find the relations those wired have with bad fungshui since some experts say that fungshui is the study of EM waves...


Of course, it's probably not right to blame the wires entirely. Lately, work volume has been balloning. Papers are scattered all over in the cube.... hate to admit it, but I do feel out of control sometimes.

Although I am working more than 12 hours daily, I am still holding up my spirit.

Okay, to be honest, there was a time when I felt really shot down. I was and am working the hours, that (I suspect) even my own boss is not working while he is waiting to unload more stuffs.

I was talking to an associate one day and he was surprised at the scope of work I was covering. While looking at the title on my business card, he tried to offer other variations of designation titles that might fit the scope of my work coverage... He also sneered a little in jest when receiving emails from me at unearthly hours.

Then, I wanted to be an escapist. Everything just did not seem to be working out well:

• I do not see why I should be working until my eyes cried foul, tearless and dry, and the contact lens almost dislodge themselves.
• I do not see why I should continue working when the PC battery had gone low and screaming in protest to work.
• I do not see why I should be working too when it's the weekend and it's time to rest.

Well, things are still not working better at the moment. But let's just say I have got my thoughts ironed out. Being put in a challenging position has given me an experience that perhaps some will never have in their stable and defined 9-5 work routine. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and screaming "why?", I guess it helped to keep the spirit just a little higher. Well, afterall, it's good to have a little stretch sometimes. Wherever the limit, it's all in the mind. If I can get past that limit, I will be unfazed no matter what life throws at me thereafter. Things will surely get better... one day.... and it will.

Well, till that day comes, I'm just gotta do my best and gain whatever little experience that will add to build the bulwark of confidence.

To everyone out there who are feeling marginalised or demoralised by work, chins up! What can be too difficult? You may not see it, but there is a gain in all that you are going through... Perhaps, the wire clutter is emitting good EM waves and fungshui... hmmm....
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Back after almost 2 weeks' Silence

Just realised that my last entry was on 14-May, and today's 27-May. Okay, let's try to account for what happened the last 13 days.

Week of 14-May and after: In hypersonic mode at work
20-May: Worked till 2:30am.
20-May: Lingering at Changi Airport, waiting to fly away to goof-off time at 6:30am.
(Yes. No typo. Same day)

A week later now, it's pay-back time AGAIN.

26-May: Half a day spent clearing mails... Ermm... I just meant scanning them through to get the gist of the happenings through the week. Still in a sluggish mode. Actions can come later.

In fact, I think I've got things that I want to pen, but simply cannot gather my thoughts.... hmmm....

Putting the photos together seemed to take less efforts.... Looking at the pictures, I realised that I looked a little crappy. Well, that's what happens when one gets too busy before a vacation. No time to preen before going on a trip... even though I knew there's gonna be lotsa photo takings - mementos to which I am suppose to be remembered by.

Well, let's just say that I want to be realistic enough to be able to look back and remember that there are times when I do look a little.... ermm... more flawed.... =P
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Signature Icon for the last few weeks and weeks coming...

Busy. Busy. Busy.

Read in another blog that it's the tagline of newcomers in general to be super-duper hardworking. However, that will wear off and the enthusiasm will degenerate into ennui with time.... i guess the blogger meant that the accelerated speed of doing work will eventually retard as time spent at a workplace gets longer.

Almost a year later, I find myself in reverse to what the typical worker (in accordance to the forementioned) is likely to behave. Perhaps not out of own will, but circumstances seemed to have forced the speed to go faster. Everyone appears to want things done at presto!

Well, sometimes, i do hope that I can indeed press a button, and work will be done.... or if I can do a 變, 變, 變 and become four working persons instead of one.... hmmmm.... won't that be nice?
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Stick to What is known

Last evening was indeed perplexing. It just didn't seemed like my day.

After the bad show and some fruitless shopping around, Hong and I decided to calm our nerves with some sweet treats. We hence dropped by Häagen-Dazs at Raffles City shopping centre. However, considering the late hours, we finally decided to settle for some tea instead after browsing the menu.

The waiter cheerfully took our orders of NightCap and Petite-fleur (or smtg like that), and then asked us, wide-eyed, if it's fine that they serve the teas in pots.

Slightly stunned, we looked at her, blinked, and asked an equally absurd question: Is it a big pot? (i mean, how big a pot can you fetch for $6.50 at a place like Häagen-Dazs?)

She blinked and gave an equally stupid answer like, "No. The pot is a one-person serving."

I mean... duh.... her question, to start with, was uncalled for. I mean, yah, one-person serving for each tea, there were two of us, and we ordered two teas, so, is that not right?

The teas came in nice clean glass pots. (I like clean looking pots!)

The puzzling thing was, Hong's teapot came without a cover. The waiter (or maybe he's the manager there, since he was in a different uniform) explained that they had broken the cover.
At first, that seemed forgiveable. But on second thought, we can't help but wonder why they can't use another teapot cover for the teapot they are serving.

We hence decided to try it out. Took the cover on my teapot and tried fitting it to Hong's teapot. And it fitted perfectly. I mean, of course, the teapots looked the same to begin with. We just wanted to confirm our suspicion and make sure there aren't some extra catch or something not visible to our myopic eyes.

Why can't they replace the cover from another teapot's? *Perplexed*

Haiz.... the only reason we can come up with is that perhaps they've only got two teapots in the outlet.... or maybe ordering teas at Häagen-Dazs was a mistake. We should have kept to the convention and maybe have an ice-cream instead....

Lesson of the day: Just stick to what is known.

That means...
#1 - If a show is not well-known, it's probably bad.
#2 - Just keep to ordering ice-creams at Häagen-Dazs.
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High prices for a Super Budget Production

Watched the worst, budget musical today.
And yes. It cost me $80. Not very budget.
$80 can last me 16 workdays, if we work that on a $3 budget meal, with $2 for transport. Considering that we are working a 5-day week, 16 workdays works out to 3 weeks and a day.
And what did I do with that? Splurged that on watching some (not exactly handsome) man engaging in sexual acts with some (equally lousy) actresses without the sizzle.

Oops!

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Love, Love changes everything:

Hands and faces,

Earth and sky,

Love, Love changes everything:

How you live and

How you die...

Love will turn your world around,

And that world will last forever...

Aww…. Don’t you think those lyrics are utterly romantic?

Having had a busy and hectic workweek, I was kinda looking forward to the Aspects of Love musical this weekend. But lo and behold, I was slapped with disappointment after disappointments during the show.

How bad can it be? Let’s just say it’s REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD!

#1: Entering the theatre, we were slapped with an unusual silence. That’s weird, cos usually, you will have the orchestra doing their tuning prior to the show.

Needless to say, there was no orchestra. Only two dull pianos.

No doubt, the pianists were pretty good. However, having just two pianos simply fail to swell the atmosphere. The mood was just not right – and I mean through the entire show!

If that is not bad enough, we have #2 to (gasp!) #6.

#2: The lead man singing those lines above were quite obviously devoid of the emotions & passions those lines are suppose to convey. He was obviously unable to feel what the character ought to feel. He’s just….. not into the character! And it seemed to me that he was not the only one… (not that there are a lot of characters to begin with.)

#3: No backdrops. No costumes. Set in the 1940s, how can the cast dress like any o’ Filipinos you see on the street today? How can the furniture from Barang-Barang stands as prop to set the French scene at that time? (And mind you, they are sponsored) My gosh! What audacity they’ve got to come on stage with just that, and claim it a musical (and charge $80 for the cheapest tix)!

#4: Off pitch singing. What can be worse in a musical production, especially when it did not only happen only once or twice? Without an orchestra, the burden will be on the casts to sing even better. But… but... but the singing of the casts were like… not the least melodious or in tune - often missing beats and pitches!

#5: Lousy storyline. This is the first time I am watching Aspects of Love. Having heard and read the lyrics on “Love changes everything”, I’ve imagined it to be a really romantic one. Well, even the Sistic synopsis says it's "one of the most romantic and passionate shows in the world". More than being over-rated, it's sad to say, however, that the plot did not drum Aspects of Love at all. On the contrary, it seemed to me that “Aspects of Lust” appeared to be a more appropriate title.

#6: Sitting beside a couple (I guess) on a getting-to-know-you date, where the boy kept shouting “Bravo!” when I was dreading to get over and be done with with the extremely lousy show. Interestingly, the girl (quite pretty one, ok?) was still positively polite towards him. If I were her, I would probably have dug a hole and dived into it asap to avoid being caught dead with anyone who associate boo-boos with bravo!s…. I mean, that's probably okay, it's just that he was like speaking of all the high & might arty stuff prior to the show and during the intermittent, as if proud that he's some arty-farty... well, quite obviously he's not...

Okay… should stop my bitchiness…

Anyway…


Even Ivan Heng’s The Visit of theTai-tai, through it’s many glitches on the first night managed to bring on litters of comic relief amid the dark plot. Okay, even if Hong disagrees with that, they at least had a backdrop and better costumes! (And Ivan Heng was funny.) The Aspects of Love show was expensive in comparison, and totally without any saving grace… okay, except perhaps for the upgrade of seats from Circles 2 to Circles 1. And that’s because of the poor turnout.

Now I know why Aspects of Love, though being one of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s early works, had remained so relatively unknown. Quite obviously, there’s a reason for everything…

Haiz… I should have put the money to better use.

Overall verdict for the show? No star. I will give negative stars, in fact, if there were such rates.

What have I paid for thus?

$10: The show +
$10: The 2 pianists
$60: Lead’s uninteresting sexual actions
= $80

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Glad for the long weekend

Haven't blogged for a whole week, nor even visited any of the sites except for the Oracle page, switching between PROD, and STAGE, and PROD.... just being caught in the whirlwind of multiple demands and things to settle... and zapping around the office. Yin said she told her students they can walk briskly, but not run cos' that's uncool.

Much as I tell myself I've got an image to keep, but somehow, still cannot remember, and continued to ramp that engine.... haiz... what to do? The multiple files & papers lying around the table, and the relentless emails had sure kept me really hot!

So, so, so busy recently, haven't got time to take second looks at texts and emails... Felt so tired by the time I reached home everyday, I just had to blong myself on the sofa and not move, lest I shatter any bones.... .. Sorry to all whose emails & texts I have not replied to!

Finally got to the weekend, and thought I can sleep through the morning, only to be woken by the blaring propaganda from the contesting parties.... *grouchy*

Having had a grueling week, aren’t we glad for the long weekend?
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An Accomplishment

Managed to wake up early on a Saturday morning today to meet ting2 at MacRitchie for the HSBC Tree-top walk. Finally.

Although I’ve printed out the map, I found out only later that the print was utterly blurred and the trail colors not visible. Anyway, having reached the reservoir, we decided to be adventurous. First following behind a group of grousing school children, later overtaking them (to escape the heat and stench they were emitting), and at times finding ourselves alone on trails with only sights of wide-eyed monkeys… Not truly gutsy, I must say it had been quite a feat for two girls to tread those grounds with the monkeys staring. Well, at least I do think so. I actually felt a little scared then. But well, we were not contemplating any turning back then. so, we thought of ways to scare the merry-making anthropoids instead (like, ermm... talking louder and irritating them...)

We did not start out knowing what kind of a trail we will be taking, nor ended up knowing what exactly was the trail we took. We just followed whatever arbitrary signs there were along the way. I do not think we can find our way to tread the exact same grounds a second time.

But having trekked the rough terrains, the bridges, flat grounds, pot-holes, and the up and down stairs through those three hours, I must say I feel pretty good that the muscles (or fats?) have been given some boost to action. If not for ting2’s sudden urge to go for the walk, I would probably have stayed in this morning and spend my day lazing on the bed with nothing to record for.

Life’s like that, isn’t it?

We are on the track of no turning back. Every second passed is time lost forever. Sometimes, we need to go out and hike the unknown grounds to have that account of our lives without void. It may not always be smooth, but not always rough. Other times, we look at the long stairs and find ourselves lacking with energy. Or simply fearful of the unknown. Still, we should continue on and keep exploring.

Soldiering on, we can find the accomplishment and be able to put on to record that something has been done today. One day, I can look back and say I have not let my youth gone to waste.

That, in itself, is an achievement in some sense, isn't it?
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