Mr Guru & Mr Gus

The past period has been (and actually still is) extremely difficult. Reasons askewed and emotions gone awry, I really have little idea how I survived not having self-combusted. Bombarded with absurd contradictories and what was akin to psychological abuse time and again, I have no idea how to deal with the distressed psyche that was welling emotions erratically within.

Last week was what seemed the peak of the madness. I was hopping crazy and was almost acting on my contemplation to sue at an insult. Everyone dear whom I shared the thoughts with did not take me very seriously. I reckoned they had thought I was simply venting some pent up emotions like a little girl throwing her mean tantrum. Little do they know that I was already seriously printing all related materials, highlighting the laws statements, and making sense of my case.

I was at a point of breakdown and about to do just anything. And I really mean ANYTHING.

Mr Gus came by and asked me out of the office for a break. For the first time, after working for so many years, I stopped all work and went out of the office before the official work hours was over. Over a cuppa apple juice, he shared the frustrations, acknowledged the possibility of reacting in my manners, and shared his stand as a third party - what we both agreed was easier said than done. Although there came a point he smiled and sneered at my incapability of winning any vicious games, there was no condemnation. (I guess that is still a positive statement, nonetheless) Neither was there disregard. Just loads of assurance that if anything should fail, there will still be someone to go lunch with me.

The sure assurance was accompanied by concrete actions in the following days - the checks, and the inclusions in activities. The little actions did something to pacify one side of the utterly imbalanced soul.

When Mr Guru came by to check on me later, I was a little like a subdued monster. But as I started to narrate the happenings that he had missed, the rage resurfaced. Undaunted and steady as usual, he drew out the analysis on paper - like an advisor, making his calculated move.

Throughout the sharing, there was no disregard for details. Even the denied characters were not dismissed, and brought out. Patiently listening, each thoughts, feelings and possibilities were expounded. As with the talk with Mr Gus, some were easier said than done. Nonetheless, we managed to come to a concluding objective and reason for the next planned action.

Although the trauma still sticks and the wound is still a bad sore, I do appreciate the efforts of the two men who egged me on through it all, refusing to let tears pour...

Tribute to both - Thank you!
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