Was at a wedding on Saturday as the bride's friend. This is the first time I get witness a whole day wedding event and I was kinda excited initially. However, through the day, we started to get glimpses of the bride's stress, and we got a little affected as well.
She seemed to be under extreme stress over the happenings, the event and if she has unwittingly offended anyone. Meanwhile, the groom's taking things easy with little hints of nervousness. Only preparing his thank you speech at the last minute, he was nowhere to be found at the start of the cocktail reception. While we'd very much wanted to help, we were helpless as the bride jets around trying to settle whatever loose ends there were.
This is a completely different scene from when I last attended Y's wedding. She was all poised, and pretty. Happy and all, a mirror out of the scene from a fairy tale. The girl that all envied and hoped to be.
Ain't that what weddings are suppose to be? Merry, with the stars of the day in the most jubilant mood?
Kong says she actually felt a little sad as the bride's friend to see that she did not get to thoroughly enjoy the day. While we all hope they will eventually lead fairy tale lives ever after, Kong rose a point - guys used to take care of everything in the past. The girls just gotta dress themselves pretty and wait for the men to settle everything. Why then, do some brides of today have to busy themselves? Are the girl-power arising? Or are the men of today getting lousier?
However quixotic others may think, I guess all girls do have in us, a certain fantasy, a pursuit for lofty ideals. We all hope things will turn out perfect. The perfect match. The perfect event. The perfect life ever after... And when the insensitive guys get less re-assuring, the girls got all stressed up. We'd all hope the men will take on the work, but when they don't seem to get it, we had to try to perfect things ourselves.
Well, I am sure the men today are still capable of handling the things men of the past did. (who would have else dared to make that bold step to hand their lives to them if that wasn't the case?) What they really need is to inject some dose of sensitivity.
Sure, the girls can handle more things than one would ever imagine, (the wedding did not have any major glitches) but then again, it will be nice if the guys were to lend a little shoulder to affirm their vows in concrete actions. The sensitivity at such times are proves of sincerity that will go a long way.
Ah well, perhaps everyone's still learning how to live that epitome.
The wedding is over, but the union is here to stay. I just wish that my friend's husband will learn to empathise with her stress, shower her with more love, and that they will live in eternal bliss..... .jpg)
**
The past period has been (and actually still is) extremely difficult. Reasons askewed and emotions gone awry, I really have little idea how I survived not having self-combusted. Bombarded with absurd contradictories and what was akin to psychological abuse time and again, I have no idea how to deal with the distressed psyche that was welling emotions erratically within.
Last week was what seemed the peak of the madness. I was hopping crazy and was almost acting on my contemplation to sue at an insult. Everyone dear whom I shared the thoughts with did not take me very seriously. I reckoned they had thought I was simply venting some pent up emotions like a little girl throwing her mean tantrum. Little do they know that I was already seriously printing all related materials, highlighting the laws statements, and making sense of my case.
I was at a point of breakdown and about to do just anything. And I really mean ANYTHING.
Mr Gus came by and asked me out of the office for a break. For the first time, after working for so many years, I stopped all work and went out of the office before the official work hours was over. Over a cuppa apple juice, he shared the frustrations, acknowledged the possibility of reacting in my manners, and shared his stand as a third party - what we both agreed was easier said than done. Although there came a point he smiled and sneered at my incapability of winning any vicious games, there was no condemnation. (I guess that is still a positive statement, nonetheless) Neither was there disregard. Just loads of assurance that if anything should fail, there will still be someone to go lunch with me.
The sure assurance was accompanied by concrete actions in the following days - the checks, and the inclusions in activities. The little actions did something to pacify one side of the utterly imbalanced soul.
When Mr Guru came by to check on me later, I was a little like a subdued monster. But as I started to narrate the happenings that he had missed, the rage resurfaced. Undaunted and steady as usual, he drew out the analysis on paper - like an advisor, making his calculated move.
Throughout the sharing, there was no disregard for details. Even the denied characters were not dismissed, and brought out. Patiently listening, each thoughts, feelings and possibilities were expounded. As with the talk with Mr Gus, some were easier said than done. Nonetheless, we managed to come to a concluding objective and reason for the next planned action.
Although the trauma still sticks and the wound is still a bad sore, I do appreciate the efforts of the two men who egged me on through it all, refusing to let tears pour...
Tribute to both - Thank you!**
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