How much does it take for that mallard to keep its sanity?

Things have been getting a little too much to handle recently. While S is questioning where my strong self had gone to, I am finding the weak side expanding bigger than ever. Correspondingly, the strong side is dimming exponentially. As part of me try to keep the spirit up in looking forward for each day's new starts, I cannot help but feel that I am playing losing games with each day's end...

On one hand, I seem to be in control of all the fuzz at work, but the fact is that I am finding it increasingly too much of a struggle. Just keeping up with the people relations and politics involved is a big drain on my spirit and energy. Well, to start with, I've always known that I am not good at that game, and to engage in a game I am not good at is definitely not me.

There was a time when people relations were such a cruise that it had been my foremost motivation. Everyone was nice then. However, for reasons unknown to me, things had seem to be failing tremendously recently. At the pressure to perform, battles of egos were started.

Suddenly, there were pulls of support cliques. People who never were that pal-ly suddenly became inseparable. People are behaving in bizarre manners, and caustic remarks made. Yes, there are times when I guess I too, am guilty of succumbing to the exchanges. And there were other times when there exist overwhelming urges to just scream at the next person who'd cross my path. Thankfully though, I have managed to combat the explosives in time. I guess losing control is the last thing I would want to happen. It will definitely not be very pretty.

But I am seeing my hair in a little more mess than usual lately.

Wonder how the mallard can uphold its calm whilst paddling furiously under water. It must have been great distress to be under that load of stress and yet keep on a pretty front. How did it keep the toil and maintain its sanity?
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