Malicious Queen needs a psychologist

Life has never been easy... and it just gets more difficult to deal with when you are being termed malicious queen for unexplainable realm or reasons by some crazy dog who just want to bite onto your tail and refuse to let go...


... and since I've got back problem, leaning to one side is a tad difficult... Oh no! how then do we get out of this chaotic & distressing botch?!??!

Mr Guru said taking flight at this point will not be a good solution.

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I have always loved talking to Mr Guru. Somehow, he has a way to put things in a perspective that will dispell their negative vibes. This time, however, it is disturbing. He had made a prediction suggesting an atmosphere that felt kinda ominous to the unaccustomed oddball. What more, barely days after our talk, telling signs of the prediction began to surface....

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Ah well... Maybe L was right in his new year's random thoughts, when he said intelligent people will produce inferior work when faced with the battle of egos. That's why I have always thought that there is no necessity to fight or prove who's the greatest. We are living in a social web of interdependence, each with their own flaws and strengths. War should always be kept at bay if possible. Problem is, dealing with people who terrorises with venoms is no mean feat.

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Anyway, back to the point on how the malicious queen is feeling...

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With all the accusations flying around, the malicious queen does not know how long she may bite on before she bites... yes... mallards can bite too...

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Happy New Year, Everyone!

How much does it take for that mallard to keep its sanity?

Things have been getting a little too much to handle recently. While S is questioning where my strong self had gone to, I am finding the weak side expanding bigger than ever. Correspondingly, the strong side is dimming exponentially. As part of me try to keep the spirit up in looking forward for each day's new starts, I cannot help but feel that I am playing losing games with each day's end...

On one hand, I seem to be in control of all the fuzz at work, but the fact is that I am finding it increasingly too much of a struggle. Just keeping up with the people relations and politics involved is a big drain on my spirit and energy. Well, to start with, I've always known that I am not good at that game, and to engage in a game I am not good at is definitely not me.

There was a time when people relations were such a cruise that it had been my foremost motivation. Everyone was nice then. However, for reasons unknown to me, things had seem to be failing tremendously recently. At the pressure to perform, battles of egos were started.

Suddenly, there were pulls of support cliques. People who never were that pal-ly suddenly became inseparable. People are behaving in bizarre manners, and caustic remarks made. Yes, there are times when I guess I too, am guilty of succumbing to the exchanges. And there were other times when there exist overwhelming urges to just scream at the next person who'd cross my path. Thankfully though, I have managed to combat the explosives in time. I guess losing control is the last thing I would want to happen. It will definitely not be very pretty.

But I am seeing my hair in a little more mess than usual lately.

Wonder how the mallard can uphold its calm whilst paddling furiously under water. It must have been great distress to be under that load of stress and yet keep on a pretty front. How did it keep the toil and maintain its sanity?
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