I received an email in the mailbox informing of the demise of the parent of someone I knew.
Much as I share the grief of the family (since they are most likely the people I know dearly), I have problem responding with something right for the occasion. That, without appearing hypocritical. Hence, I decided to feign ignorance.
The last time I received such a notice, it was a text message on the phone. I guess the notices were sent with the sole motive of adding attendance to the wake services. Due to work and other reasons, I am always not found at those services. Okay. Okay. The real reason is because I don’t know what to do and/or what to say at such times. So, the best strategy is to “siam”.
For the text message, there is almost no escape. A response is expected and has to be sent, even if I can attempt to cook up an excuse for my physical absence. “My sympathy” sounds too short and remote. And so is “My condolence”. That sounds so…
Might as well skip that altogether.
But I do share their sorrow. Really. I know how it is. After all, it did take me some time before I got over my granny’s passing years back, and understand (as all Christians may claim, but possibly not truly understand) that she is at a better place.
Oh yes. Back to the text message: I replied the message with something like “I understand how you feel, but at least we know she is at a better place, and we will meet again one day…” I’ve always thought that she is more a Christian than I am, but the recipient of the message obviously doubted me, for I have never received another message from her henceforth.
So, can someone tell me what to do and what to say? What on earth is politically right?
This is so torturous. Never shared anything good with me, but the sorrow after letting me know of the news, and yet ignoring me thereafter just because I don’t know how to respond.
Since I get penalised either way, the oddball has thus decided to keep to the “siam”-ing strategy, while nursing the sorrowing heart in my own corner...
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3 comments:
Hmmm... actually I think your message did reach the other party and I bet he/she is touched. Just that she didn't reply back. Ppl get really upset when someone close to them pass away and the thing they need most is actually concern. A little act of kindness and friendship goes a long way. I wouldn't opt for "siaming" if I were you.
no.... I mean I get ignored even after months later....
Yikes... wah... y she so angry?.. gee... touchy...
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