For a start...

Something’s wrong with my thought trends. They come as wildfires at the most unexpected times (during meetings, whilst I am supposedly talking to people, and even midway through church sermons....of course, there are also times they came when I was simply lazing in bed and cannot bring myself to jot myself out of consciousness...). However, they never really spread. Instead, they whizzed off like a breeze at a blink. There have been a lot of things that I’ve meant to put to words, but when I truly sit down to gather my thoughts, everything just goes blank.

Yes. I am an oddball, or so, I suspect.

Physically, I am neither svelte nor lumpy. Taller than some, yet shorter than others. Plays the piano, yet cannot claim any musical inclinations. Personality-wise, ermmm… I am still trying to find an exact term to describe myself. Below is a list of traits I’ve found that are typically used to describe personalities, but I do not seem to be able to fit perfectly into any of the specs:

[1] Sociable or Unsociable: My smile is probably my prized weapon. I’ve always made a conscious effort to make everyone I come in contact with comfortable. Networking and talking to people is part and parcel of my trade. This is an art, you know. Aside from being glib, your associates have to receive your vibes of sincerity. Okay! Okay! Before you roll your eyes… I do enjoy being in good companies.

There are also times, however, when I simply switch off and become totally anti-social. Those are times when social phobia creeps into me…and that happens even when the moon is not blue...

With that, I really cannot cross my heart and swear I am a social animal or not…

[2] Intelligent or Unintelligent: I definitely did not graduate with a first class honors in University. But I am still able to hold conversations with the numerous doctorates I have came across. Does that make me intelligent enough?

[3] Unstable or Stable emotions: Some people would think me as a sturdy dependable. And I would not deny that. Afterall, how many times would you get so crossed and fed up with inefficient people and still not lose your cool? Scream at them, and not let it affect your being altogether? Yes. I would not let just anyone affect me. Nonetheless, there have been times when I became so cranky; I did things that I myself have problem comprehending in retrospect. You need not know what…

[4] Self-sufficient or Submissive: Mum says I appeared too intimidating for any man’s liking. But really, a part of me does want to eventually be a submissive partner. In fact, I do enjoy being in company with people who would look out for me. It can be blissful to be led, without having to tough it out alone… But of course, I am sane enough to only submit to the most worthy…

[5] Imaginative or Practical: “Someday, my prince will come…”
Yes. I do live in a dream – one that Hong has been questioning if it will ever come true. He is to be sensitive and attentive – a man who is capable of loving and to whom I can engage with. No. I never thought it is a far-fetched imagination. Just that such men whom I have come across are taken.

So, you see, those are actually practical criterion for the search of the better half. Such people do exist!

Uh-oh… I hear some "tsk-tsk"s and see some heads shaking. Okay. The better ways of describing the possibly practical side of me is that I’d walk more and eat less so that I can save up for that million dollar the financial advisor in the papers say I would need so as to sustain myself when I grow old.

Hmmm… is that a practical imagination? Or an imaginative practicality?

Nevermind. I think I’ll just go for a Cartier watch or another Omega or the likes…

[6] So, Bimbo or Bitch?: Not pretty enough to be a bimbo leh.... how? But too pleasant to be a bitch too...

That said, I think I am most likely a distinctive character of my own. My own oxymoron. Someone once commented that I probably have not lived long enough. Before you nod to that, that remark was passed by someone who is barely a few months older than me. Oh yes! Those few extra months probably did more harm to him than to me. Cos’ I really do not think that there is going to be any significant change in me within the next few months. After all, I have lived as thus for the last 25+ years….

After reading some works by my friend, Hong (who I really think have a great flair for writing), I’ve wanted to try my hands at writing too. Unlike her, I’ve gotta confess I cannot write as well. I hope the last 700+ words have not put anyone to sleep.

In fact, it took me quite some time to decide on what to write for the first piece. Then I decided that I should give it up altogether. Then again, I think I should start writing - even though it is just a "who-cares?" little introduction (that got too long) to why I named the blog Oddball's corner.

That, at least to kick-start my neuro-motors that have hibernated long enough since graduation from school.

Oh well, the least to do is to check that the neuronal connections are still there and right. You see, the oddball needs a little more effort than the others when fitting to the angular corners of the norm…

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