...such flair... so much so that this INTj is often misunderstood and kept away from...
An idle mind is potent.
Once in a while, my mind would drift to the people whom I've grown up with. Mostly of those who I have spent my formative years with weekends after weekends. I guess I did look forward to weekends then because of them despite the business. But I guess it was all just an one-sided affair... or perhaps, no one really take another so seriously. Why the need? Carpe Diem! and just enjoy the company ! Whatever and whoever is present.
Sometimes, I'd hope I can go back in time, and savor the fellowships with those same familarities - the weekend meetings and plannings, the dinners, the tennis games, the movies, the singing, the sharing, the lunches, the exploring, the celebrations, the prayings - but things will never be the same anymore. Ever.
The day I walked out of the library screaming at the indignance of the holy-elitists, I should have known that there can be no be co-existence, save for a nod and an awkward smile.
The day I walked out of the meetings, and refused all calls, I should have known my presence will be swallowed by my label as an incomprehensible and emotionally-erratic screwball, preferred not to be mentioned and sucked into the tunnel of memory extinction. Not remembered, but remembers.
Amazing how God planned affinities and relationships. Amazing how I never fail to flop them - and all. Nowadays, weekends are spent, shaking hands with different strangers every week. No-one looks familiar anymore. I wonder if it was due to my aging amnesic brain, but it's always new faces, and new names every week. Too much for one who had preference for all things within comfort zone. Minus the need for emotional connects, this is a fine idea thus far. It saves me from wrecking more.
Indeed, I'd be better off living in the little odd zone of my own.....
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