Lowest cost EXPRESSION program....

Show casing the Costless weight-loss & work-efficiency booster program:

"Hello, Expression... "

Okay, Expression is probably passe.... I think it is Cenosis or Philip Wain nowadays... Just a week or two ago, ting2 asked me on my views towards the effectiveness of slimming programs. Ermm... I don't suppose she thought I went for any of those.... and I obviously cannot be a spokesperson for any of those trades.... I would probably be the right person to ask if she needs queries answered on expansion.... That will definitely be much, much easier.

Anyway....

The method shown above originated from my colleague, DF who sent me an email with much excitement out of the blue to inform of the latest weight-loss program he found. He claimed that it would also increase work efficiency. (Well, I hope he didn't mean to question my work efficiency or to imply that I am fat!)

I have not tried it out, but SSF (above) soon got wind of it and had started out on the program sooner than I did... Yes, I think I will try that out someday.... but before that happens, I need to first look for prettier looking boxes to prop up my notebook... talk about being ai swee...

** Please note that the above picture was suppose to be a candid shot, taken with the sole intention of showcasing how the program is to work. However, my Sony Ericsson phone's loud "click" sound was a dead give-away. After assuring him that he will never be identified and pointed on the street, generous permission has been granted for this picture to be featured on this site. Hence, please do not point him out if you happen to recognise him on the street. Thank you.

The Intricacy of Friendships

It is amazing how friendships are formed.

I mean we meet different people everyday. People walk in and out of our lives, but we cannot call everyone friends. To be frank, even having lived a quarter of the century, I have not really been able to fathom the mystery behind how people grew from mere strangers to calling each other friends.

C.S Lewis wrote that friendship is unnecessary. It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.

As a young kid, I have always had queer emotions. I am never sure if being an insecure kid caused that or was it the sensitivity that caused the insecurity. Whatever it is, that did not help. As a pinafore-donning schoolgirl, I found it very difficult to grasp the idea of friends. Then, everyone I thought were my good friends actually turned out to have even better – or some call, best – friends. Such revelations often do not come as blessings. Surely, I do not need more affirmations that my existence is secondary.

As I grew up, I continued to pick up people along the way whom I now (still) call friends. I have never given up on this incomprehensible intricate called “friends”. Blame it on my fantasies, the soap series and fairy tales, but I still believe in giving the best to those whom I would want to call friends. To me, they are not friends because I need companies. I can survive quite well in solitude, with absolutely no necessity for disturbance in my life. But my friends are companies because, well, they are friends. They aren't simply just names on the list whom I tick and decide who I want for company today. Just as I hope I will be of value to their lives, I have derived value from each of them.

How this comes to being still perplexes me. For not even science can explain the mystical spark and chemistry involved when people decide that they want to be friends, and not just colleagues, classmates, associates or any of the likes. In fact, we do not even sit and decide that we want to be friends! The magic potion making us friends can thus not be replicated.

Today, to all my chums, I think I ought to let you should know that you are treasured and respected as a pal. No superficiality should tarnish that relationship. If there is any trace of that, I think we are better off kept as strangers....

This time, I hope the feelings toward those I call friends are mutual too….
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The Oracle: The Disclaimer

No. I am not about to expound on the Oracle system that has thrown my fellow colleagues and I into labyrinth.

This is to formally pronounce that I am a mere social being with an odd love-hate attitude towards having to co-exist with other fellow beings. Co-existence has sometimes led to familiarity – a sense of connection – and security. Because of this, I have inevitably allowed some beings to cause storms in my emotions. Nonetheless, they are also the ones capable of seeing me soar to seventh heaven. Either way, co-existing has added all colors of my life.

Therefore, in my blogs, one will often find mention of one character or the other - even some familiar events. Definitely will have one lah. Writing about myself will be too boring. I mean, how interesting can it be if everything is all about I, me, and myself? I, me, and myself will only have some value because I am co-existing with other beings and the interactions rub experiences that I can write about.

If you do not mind reading about other people or events involving other people here, please do not be offended by mention of anything that may seem familiar to you. Nonetheless, I will try my best to keep all identities under wraps unless you grant me the permission to help you do some publicity. Please be assured though that there are no missiles or sharp metal objects hidden under those wraps. The writings are not, and will not be used as weapons of any form to hurt anyone. They are merely to be used as innocent anecdotes.

Yes. I am writing to you who think that I have fired shots in any way in any of my blogs. If you ain’t enemy, you are a valued friend, and there is no intention whatsoever to cause grieve to friends in any way. And if you are an enemy, why are you so kay-poh? Nothing here is meant for your reading pleasure....

Yes. Back to my point. To be accused of hurt, actual mense rea had to be proven. So, please prove that first before being convinced that I am malicious in any way. Anyway, how can a nice person like you have gotten into association with someone so vile? That, in itself, will disregard all mense rea propositions.

Anyway, having had kiasu-ism run in my blood, I still hope to be indemnified by adding the following disclaimer:

No human beings are meant to be hurt physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially nor spiritually in the blogs of oddball. (Have I covered all?) Dissensions between any individuals are also never intended in any articles that have been posted here or are to be posted here henceforth. Any positive resemblance may be pointed to you alright, but anything negative, or perceived to be negative (I am supposed to have swore off all things negative, remember?) is of pure coincidence and a make-up from your own imagination (not mine). Exceptions will be made known in the article and will only apply to that particular work at that particular time.

Now, disclaimers are usually in the smallest font available. However, the oddball has decided otherwise. Well, oddball has to keep the oddball image and be, ermm... different.

Anyway, oddball has always been a little inept, and never always really in understanding of the happenings around. Nonetheless, be aware that the oddball is also not apt at using poison fangs too. Fact is, oddball is no rat.

That confirms it. There's no vermin!

Well, to be doubly sure, you may want to inject a little dose of the superlative elixir: Humour and a smile.

This is the oracle.


P/S: If you have somehow gotten lost whilst trying to comprehend the Oracle, please be assured that you are fine. I got a little lost while writing too. Or perhaps Oracles are not meant for any mere mortals to fathom…
Ermm.... actually, to say that this is an oracle was just to give the disclaimer a boost in its authority. So, relax! * wink *
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Public Apology

Came out of a supposed 5 minutes meeting that stretched almost 12 times feeling a bad pang of headache yesterday. Who wouldn’t – especially after the rounds of dart-shooting activity – and that, which stretched beyond my paid hours of 5:30pm? I’ve still got to throw in more free hours as reward after the paid hours because of these games I have been engaging in over those paid hours….

Although I should be thankful that no venomous darts were employed, the amount of energy involved was enough to render anyone giddy….

Anyway…. what was my point? Yes. I was supposed to issue a public apology. See, it helps to have titles, because titles help you remember your point. Yes. And my point herein was to render a public apology to YCK* and EW*.

Yes. They had to bear my ranting for close to 20 minutes (actually, I can't really tell the time, because I was in a distracted and abusive mood. And I can't tell the distance either cos' we have yet to figure out if that was 1km, 2km or 3) as we walked from the office to Serangoon stadium for our weekly jogging program. Yes, they had to endure all the complaints, the tongue-lashes, and the grouses (that found little brakes) for that long period. Felt quite bad about that. Really. Sorry, people!

My deepest apologies, but hey, I don’t know if it helps to know, but the headache miraculously healed after that… Thanks to both for that!

* Names are changed to protect the identities of the persons involved. All resemblance to anyone living is purely of no coincidence. You know who you are and the apology is indeed directed to you.
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Thou Shalt Swear Off Thy Sianz Bug

Seriously, I do not like this sianz bug at all. No. Not the least. Hereby, I declare the sianz-bug an utter abhorrence – an abomination. I resolve to eschew it with immediate effect.

I got snapped at yesterday because someone caught the blue bug. Honestly, I did feel a little wronged and annoyed. Much as I felt a little concerned, I did not think I should be penalized for someone else’s sianz-ness. No. Why should I?

The last time I detected a sianz infection, I felt the itch on my nose too. The looming gloom enlarged its sphere of influence almost immediately. Very soon, I felt it above my head too. Well, like I last mentioned, this bug is highly contagious.

I would henceforth swear off all sianz people, all sianz activities, and all sianz-ness. I will make full use of my everyday life.

No. No more being ensnared by the sianz bug. Run away from it now!

Let’s all be gay, everyone! A happy life will naturally then be an attractive one!

Cheers & charm the person next to you now!
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Why Sianz?

Was online last evening and someone popped that she’s sianz. Yes, if Ting happen to be reading this, here’s me quoting you (raw and) straight from the MSN dialogue box, ”sianz of work , sianz of doing almost the same stuf, sianz of the frustrations in work, sianz of everyting.”

I can actually feel the sianz vibes just by reading that, which my English teacher would probably frown on. She will say that is too long to be a sentence. Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes, someone in her 20s being in the sianz mood.

Recently, an overseas supplier introduced me to KYM, who has just returned to Singapore from US. We have been in some email exchanges, and after these many weeks, I realized that his conscious state of mind operates on a cycle.

Every Monday, he will be looking towards Wednesday, proclaiming that the milestone of the week. By Wednesday, he will be looking forward to Friday. On Friday, he will exclaim in jubilation that he “made it”.

If you think KYM is actually looking forward to a happening Saturday Nite fever, you are going to be utterly disappointed. Instead, he will often be wishing for a peaceful weekend. And that cycle goes on yet again when Monday starts. Barely at his mid-30s, I should add that KYM is no old fossil in the slug. I always thought that people in their 30s would be the most upbeat. Financially stable, confident, secured and assured.

Or am I wrong? Hmmm…

If you do a search on google for “sianz”, you will find a series of blogs, all declaring their sianz-ness. Most of whom ( or is it all? anyone care to find out when you are really sianz?) are breeding in Singapore. I wonder if Singaporeans were given the sole prerogative to be sianz…

On second thought, it is perhaps not really the age, the geography, the gender, or any other factors.

We have been caught in a vicious cycle sparked by dunno-who. Convincing ourselves that we are sianz, we inject the sianz bugs within us, make sure it flows through us and spread it out to the next person who happens to be around like it’s the best gift around to be shared. And so, the sianz bug multiplies. And multiply. And multiply. Before we know it, those who are not infected seemed freaky.

Odd, isn’t it? We are all sianz… restless, dull, lifeless, malcontented and irritable… who invented that? Who should invent that thought, that mood, that blue?

That consciousness that brought us to… ermmm… sianz-ness?

Oops! What am I expounding on something so…. SIANZ…..

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A Time for Everything

Making Heaven

We are all engaged in a rat race in one way or another, pressing towards the delusional goal supposedly leading to felicity. More power, more income, more consumption.

While the world obsesses itself with Gross National Product and Gross National Incomes being representations of how close we are to the ultimate utopia, Bhutan is in pursuit of Gross National Happiness! The government creates the conditions that would enable every citizen to pursue happiness with a reasonable chance of success.

Don’t you think that’s cool?


"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Is that an idealist's dream? A cloak, veiling something the "happy" people refuses to admit? Or a reality?
Oh boy.... I think I will turn schizo trying to find my place in either stance....

John Milton, a 17th century author (actually, I didn't know who he was until I searched for that name, so I hope this is the correct guy):
The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.

I think I should start making heaven.....
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An Unsated Saturday

Saturday. Sleep, sleep, read bimbo magazine, and sleep more. Online in the late evening, I realize that nobody is on, except for TY (xiao-pang), who’s working like crazy – as usual. Must be another fellow leading not so exciting life. Is everyone else leading happening activities out there on a Saturday evening, or is the list in my MSN contacts too few to count?

Hong came online a while later and asked what I was doing. Actually, I was perpetually doing nothing, except replying to her messages. She mentioned something about her reading xx’s blog.

(I’ll just use initials here. Read on the bimbo magazine earlier today that we have to blog responsibly and to be discreet. I think I’d better to add a disclaimer too – to be doubly sure.
Disclaimer: No animal was hurt, nor characters meant to be slandered while writing and posting this. Readers will be liable for their own interpretations.)

And so, in my ennui, I keyed in the search for the blogs of both xx and DYeoh. I remember having read them when they first hogged limelight on the national papers, but their works left little impressions on me. Now that Hong brought xx up again, and I’ve got nothing to do, I took some time to just read them.

Except for the different blog layout most of us use (which are from the templates provided), the long blog writings held little content. Quite obviously over-rated. They are just little crass and unrefined observations, peppered with grammatically wrong phrases and tenses. None of those points spoke any depth nor volume. Only superficiality. (I shouldn’t even say there were points!)

Why the popularity, I really don’t understand. I am not trying to be depreciatory (I know I can’t write well too), but the fact that such works have gained popularity seems to point to something being grossly wrong. I seriously hope such blogs do not become the literary representation of this century.

I mean I would have enjoyed reading satires with points or humors holding up human vices and follies, ironies and struggles. But works that assumes no point? Tsk, tsk, Waste of time.

I think anyone can write better…. Meanwhile, I will just stick to Mr Brown….

Ermmm…. Am I being quirky again?
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Cupid's Choice of food

The food correspondent on last week’s Sunday Times, Lifestyle’s taste column was writing on the hip eateries when out of the blue, she used boyfriends that come and go as an analogy to the hip restaurants scene in Singapore. At the end of her write-up, she ended with the statement that one would need to take a few attempts before hitting long-term material.

A day earlier, I met up with two of my girlfriends, Hong & Kong for dinner.

When three 25+ year-old single girls gather at the meal table, the common topic yet again was more lamentations on the lack of good, eligible men & single-hood. Cupid has yet to strike (rightly) for any of us and Hong was saying that he should just strike once and most accurately. Misses or any less than precise hits are most un-welcomed.

Like I always say, only the best need apply. Self-unaware applicants can stuff their applications elsewhere. It is not my fault. I will be too busy if I take second looks at spams…

Oh, by the way, please do not try getting me to patronize any restaurant a second time if I’ve had an unimpressionable first experience…Even when it seems absolutely necessary, I’d rather walk an extra mile to search for the next best. It is better to have the palate spoilt with the best than to spoil it…
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The Torturous News

I received an email in the mailbox informing of the demise of the parent of someone I knew.
Much as I share the grief of the family (since they are most likely the people I know dearly), I have problem responding with something right for the occasion. That, without appearing hypocritical. Hence, I decided to feign ignorance.

The last time I received such a notice, it was a text message on the phone. I guess the notices were sent with the sole motive of adding attendance to the wake services. Due to work and other reasons, I am always not found at those services. Okay. Okay. The real reason is because I don’t know what to do and/or what to say at such times. So, the best strategy is to “siam”.

For the text message, there is almost no escape. A response is expected and has to be sent, even if I can attempt to cook up an excuse for my physical absence. “My sympathy” sounds too short and remote. And so is “My condolence”. That sounds so…

Might as well skip that altogether.

But I do share their sorrow. Really. I know how it is. After all, it did take me some time before I got over my granny’s passing years back, and understand (as all Christians may claim, but possibly not truly understand) that she is at a better place.

Oh yes. Back to the text message: I replied the message with something like “I understand how you feel, but at least we know she is at a better place, and we will meet again one day…” I’ve always thought that she is more a Christian than I am, but the recipient of the message obviously doubted me, for I have never received another message from her henceforth.

So, can someone tell me what to do and what to say? What on earth is politically right?

This is so torturous. Never shared anything good with me, but the sorrow after letting me know of the news, and yet ignoring me thereafter just because I don’t know how to respond.

Since I get penalised either way, the oddball has thus decided to keep to the “siam”-ing strategy, while nursing the sorrowing heart in my own corner...
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Singapore, The sleepy City

In most gung-fu shows, when the baddie who is no match to the hero needs to knock him out, he lets in some magic tranquilizing fumes into the room. I’ve always suspected that I might have inhaled some of those likes that have everlasting effect. It is too often that I feel so very tired and restless. Then I realize that I may not be the only one plagued with the symptom. Most Singaporeans are no different!

This morning, I actually saw a new colleague walking to the pantry with his eyes closed. Sure, that was a broad path, with little obstacle, but how does he not know that a clumsy being will flash out of nowhere and bump into him? Hey, he should be thankful my eyes were open. For God knows what will happen if my hot water starts dancing…

Then there was this girl I saw on the bus who cannot help but nodded off while texting on her phone. Barely before she finished her message sentence, she fell asleep. My kay-pohness overcame me and I squirmed to see what she was messaging. But my poor eyesight and the tiny font on that nokia phone was not helpful in reading the contents. But I swear that the sentence was incomplete when she fell prey to the spell. Only when the bus jerked, did she come into consciousness and finished her sentence, before slumbering yet again.

While on the 40 mins journey on the tube in Taiwan, my boss fell asleep. When he awoke at the destination, he asked for the washroom. Someone actually comment, “What’s with him?”

Though I managed a smile, I must admit I was drowned in grogginess then too.

Yes. What’s with us? It is not uncommon, while at work, to receive msn messages from people who tell you they are sleepy. I’ve got to confess that I have sent out several of those myself…

This seems quite phenomenal, especially when I am dormant most hours of the day. Something must be wrong. We are actually in a national sianz mood!

Or is it just me again.... *yawn*

Forgive me... it's Monday....
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For a start...

Something’s wrong with my thought trends. They come as wildfires at the most unexpected times (during meetings, whilst I am supposedly talking to people, and even midway through church sermons....of course, there are also times they came when I was simply lazing in bed and cannot bring myself to jot myself out of consciousness...). However, they never really spread. Instead, they whizzed off like a breeze at a blink. There have been a lot of things that I’ve meant to put to words, but when I truly sit down to gather my thoughts, everything just goes blank.

Yes. I am an oddball, or so, I suspect.

Physically, I am neither svelte nor lumpy. Taller than some, yet shorter than others. Plays the piano, yet cannot claim any musical inclinations. Personality-wise, ermmm… I am still trying to find an exact term to describe myself. Below is a list of traits I’ve found that are typically used to describe personalities, but I do not seem to be able to fit perfectly into any of the specs:

[1] Sociable or Unsociable: My smile is probably my prized weapon. I’ve always made a conscious effort to make everyone I come in contact with comfortable. Networking and talking to people is part and parcel of my trade. This is an art, you know. Aside from being glib, your associates have to receive your vibes of sincerity. Okay! Okay! Before you roll your eyes… I do enjoy being in good companies.

There are also times, however, when I simply switch off and become totally anti-social. Those are times when social phobia creeps into me…and that happens even when the moon is not blue...

With that, I really cannot cross my heart and swear I am a social animal or not…

[2] Intelligent or Unintelligent: I definitely did not graduate with a first class honors in University. But I am still able to hold conversations with the numerous doctorates I have came across. Does that make me intelligent enough?

[3] Unstable or Stable emotions: Some people would think me as a sturdy dependable. And I would not deny that. Afterall, how many times would you get so crossed and fed up with inefficient people and still not lose your cool? Scream at them, and not let it affect your being altogether? Yes. I would not let just anyone affect me. Nonetheless, there have been times when I became so cranky; I did things that I myself have problem comprehending in retrospect. You need not know what…

[4] Self-sufficient or Submissive: Mum says I appeared too intimidating for any man’s liking. But really, a part of me does want to eventually be a submissive partner. In fact, I do enjoy being in company with people who would look out for me. It can be blissful to be led, without having to tough it out alone… But of course, I am sane enough to only submit to the most worthy…

[5] Imaginative or Practical: “Someday, my prince will come…”
Yes. I do live in a dream – one that Hong has been questioning if it will ever come true. He is to be sensitive and attentive – a man who is capable of loving and to whom I can engage with. No. I never thought it is a far-fetched imagination. Just that such men whom I have come across are taken.

So, you see, those are actually practical criterion for the search of the better half. Such people do exist!

Uh-oh… I hear some "tsk-tsk"s and see some heads shaking. Okay. The better ways of describing the possibly practical side of me is that I’d walk more and eat less so that I can save up for that million dollar the financial advisor in the papers say I would need so as to sustain myself when I grow old.

Hmmm… is that a practical imagination? Or an imaginative practicality?

Nevermind. I think I’ll just go for a Cartier watch or another Omega or the likes…

[6] So, Bimbo or Bitch?: Not pretty enough to be a bimbo leh.... how? But too pleasant to be a bitch too...

That said, I think I am most likely a distinctive character of my own. My own oxymoron. Someone once commented that I probably have not lived long enough. Before you nod to that, that remark was passed by someone who is barely a few months older than me. Oh yes! Those few extra months probably did more harm to him than to me. Cos’ I really do not think that there is going to be any significant change in me within the next few months. After all, I have lived as thus for the last 25+ years….

After reading some works by my friend, Hong (who I really think have a great flair for writing), I’ve wanted to try my hands at writing too. Unlike her, I’ve gotta confess I cannot write as well. I hope the last 700+ words have not put anyone to sleep.

In fact, it took me quite some time to decide on what to write for the first piece. Then I decided that I should give it up altogether. Then again, I think I should start writing - even though it is just a "who-cares?" little introduction (that got too long) to why I named the blog Oddball's corner.

That, at least to kick-start my neuro-motors that have hibernated long enough since graduation from school.

Oh well, the least to do is to check that the neuronal connections are still there and right. You see, the oddball needs a little more effort than the others when fitting to the angular corners of the norm…

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